Syrup and Asphalt???

True story: a Florida man was arrested for eating pancakes in the middle of an intersection. When police asked him why, he said, “Because they don’t serve waffles.”

This guy actually set up a cardboard table and sat down for breakfast. Not unusual. Except it was in the middle of a busy Florida intersection. Typically one doesn’t eat breakfast with a really good chance of getting smashed like a pancake yourself. This guy did.

My mind began to race, thinking of some of the craziest places and things I have consumed things. I think the first thing that crossed my mind were samples at either grocery stores or the huge warehouse stores where they allow you to sample food items prior to purchase.

Seriously? I’m just expected to trust a stranger who’s offering me food on an end cap in a store? No questions asked? Does the person have a food handlers permit? Culinary expertise? A criminal record? We know absolutely nothing about the person except they are offering free food.

I know people who have each location down to a specific schedule. Free sample day at all of the local stores who offer them. To me, this is insane! These are some of the same people who will send back a meal in a restaurant if they don’t think it has been prepared to perfection.

But, offer them a free germ infected crab puff and they’re good to go. I think we’re a little too taken with the whole “free” thing. There are people who actually sign up for programs on line that offer free samples of all sorts of products as long long as you agree not to sue them.

Really? Some guy is sitting at home growing boobs from eating something that just tastes good that he got for free at the store? I’m allergic to shell fish. I dont know why. My wife and I were enjoying a crab appetizer prior to our steak dinner and wham! Couldn’t breathe, rapid heartbeat, sweating…. That was it. No more shellfish. Ever.

Now I’m at the store and they’re giving away free sushi. I love sushi, but I know that I’ll likely die if I eat it. You would think I would have no trouble turning it down. Wrong. After all, its free, right? And we’re close to a hospital….  And what if they offered a free epipen? Fortunately, my wife is with me and convinces me to take a detour from the ER and possibly the morgue by passing on the free sample. 

I dont know. I think if I were going to be arrested for eating something in the middle of an intersection, I would have to make it worth while. How about a nice medium rare rib eye? Not that I’m dissing a good plate of pancakes, but I think I would need to be more fiscally responsible. Plus for street cred in the joint, I wouldn’t want to be the flap jack guy.

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