What Was I Thinking????

I learned a valuable lesson a few years ago. Following a car accident, if the police officer is a woman, they don’t like it when you say, “How you doin’, sweetie”? The jail wasn’t all that bad.

There are more and more female police officers now and I think that’s great. I hope they get equal pay, too. It would be horribly unfair otherwise. In fact, perhaps they should get more. When she pulls some knucklehead over for drunk driving, she’s going to have to endure stupid pick up lines.

Male officers seem to get a kick out of it. They think it’s funny and brag about it with their buddies. So do the female cops but with a feeling of disgust. Phrases like “Instead of taking me to jail, why not ditch the car and uniform and I’ll take you to a club” are not considered funny. Especially when his next “move” is to vomit on her shoes.

I don’t think I’ve ever been pulled over by a female officer. The last time I drove, I was at my therapist’s office. The therapist asked me who was taking me home. I had a seizure about an hour earlier so he warned me about driving. I told him not to worry, I’d be fine. Two blocks down the street I rear ended a car.

I hit him pretty hard and he was not amused. He looked at me kind of strangely as I apologized profusely. Then he said, “Wait a minute, you’re Jerry Mabbott. You’re my favorite comedian!” we exchanged insurance information and fortunately we were with the same insurance company.

When the police officer arrived, I thought I was going to get a ticket for sure. But it turned out that the female cop was friends with the guy I hit. She recognized me too. She looked at our insurance cards and asked the guy what he wanted to do. He said, “Nothing, there’s not that much damage so we can work it out with the insurance company”. 

It was one of the only times I was happy to be recognized. I couldn’t believe it! When you hit someone from behind, you always get a ticket. Sometimes you even get sued. But the guy and I stood there talking about showbiz for about ten minutes and he drove off. I pulled my car into a parking lot across the street and never drove again. I wonder if a male officer would have been so casual about it? Maybe.

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Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott

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