Parakeet Cat Chow?????

Pet food manufacturers should at least know their products. Beef flavored cat food? When was the last time you saw a pack of cats take down a cow?

Parakeet cat chow? Okay. Fish flavor? Got it. Beef? Not so much. I have yet to see a cat gang out in a field saying, “sshhhh, you’ll spook the herd. Fluffy, you up the left side. Snowball, you go up the right side and rub your legs on her. Whitey, you jump up on her neck and do that thing. You know, that thing with your paws, like a massage. Then we’ll pounce”!

Crazy, but somehow, beef flavored cat food is out there. I don’t get supermarkets at all. I’ll be standing at the meat counter, and hear someone ask the meat guy (I refuse to call them butchers, cause it makes me feel like I’m in a horror movie and about to get whacked.) “Do you have any fish that doesn’t taste fishy?” Really? You’re asking for FISH! “Excuse me, do you have liver that doesn’t taste like liver? Ham that doesn’t taste like ham?”

They do have fake stuff, like crab. Fake crab meat. Seriously. Does it taste like real crab? NO! They chop up white fish, add a little crab flavor, add a little crab color and, voila! Imitation crab! The poor man’s sea delicacy.

Powdered milk, that’s another one. Disgusting. I’ve yet to see a farmer milk a powdered cow. Ever. Yet, here we are, drinking lumpy, gross, powdered milk. Maybe in a mess tent, but at home? Gross.

It’s not just food products that confuse me, which is really not very difficult. I saw a brand of bathroom tissue called Marathon. For people with the runs, I guess.

Right above it was one called “Helping Hand.” Really? I think some things you just want to tackle all alone. That would be one of ’em.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, there seems to be a rush on powdered mashed potatoes, and I have to get mine.

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Twitter: @jmabbott

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