Jerry Mabbott's Blog

We were at a club on New Years Eve when the owner said. “OK, at the stroke of midnight I want you all to be with the person who helps you get through all of your struggles in life. At midnight, the bartender was nearly crushed to death.

As much as we may want to take all of our troubles to our partner, sometimes its just not a good idea. Especially if the problem is a sensitive matter concerning the partner. In that case, counseling is the best thing to do. Otherwise, it’s likely to become the equivalent of a boxing match and let me assure you, she’ll win. Plus she’ll never forget it. Ever.

Therapists or counselors are awesome. There’s confidentiality so she can’t ever find out what you’ve said. If you wait and  decide to go to marriage counseling, forget it. Too late. I’ve had therapists tell me that marriage counseling rarely works. By the time the couple goes in, there is too much baggage and bitterness to overcome.

I should know. I’ve been married four times, went to counseling all four times and it only worked the last time. Now, life is really good. We rarely fight, we’ve gotten to know each other well and we each have separate places in the house to go if we’re irritated. We wait to talk so it doesn’t get too the point where we’re screaming at each other and saying things that can never be taken back.

One time in counseling the therapist asked me to be more direct. Tell my wife exactly what I wanted. I said, “I want somebody else”.  I know! I thought it was funny too. Her lawyer thought it was hilarious. We got a divorce. I was very depressed after that and my psychiatrist prescribed medication but it didn’t work. My ex is still alive. I’m just kidding. She’s  dead. Kidding!

If you have a good marriage and see potential problems down the road, go to counseling early while you are both willing to work on the issues.

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