I’m officially announcing my candidacy for President. Obviously, this is an eleventh hour, grass roots effort that will require write in votes. I promise to bring gas prices down to $1.50 per gallon by stopping payments to oil rich countries and harvesting our own natural resources.
Gym class for every child in school and all taxes will be paid by oil companies. I’ll create jobs by using the huge tax surplus to provide free healthcare for all verified citizens.
Big Bird will be my running mate, so we’ll be sure to get the National Audubon Society vote, critical to win.
We will pull out of every war, and if we discover that our enemies have nearly completed nuclear weapons, we will simply nuke them first. That should serve as a deterrent to the other countries, and fortify our defense at home.
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Facebook: Jerry Mabbott