You’re not tall enough!!!

I’ve noticed that all ballerinas dance on the tips of their toes. I’ve also heard that they suffer from broken and injured toes as a result. Um, how about getting taller ballerinas? You’re welcome.

I don’t know much about ballet, so I would most likely sleep through a performance. That doesn’t mean that I lack culture. I like operas and classical music a lot. I learned to read an opera before going to the performance so you  know what is going on, especially when it’s most likely going to be sung in a different language.

What about the symphony? For me, a snooze fest. I just don’t know enough about the instruments to be interested. We went one time and I kept falling asleep, which is bad because I snore. Really loud. After being rudely escorted out, I decided that I would never attend another. That’s a shame because it works better than Ambien.

Its the same effect when my wife turns on “The View”. I’m not against a group of women talking about today’s issues, but it seems like Whoopie Goldberg is so persuasive that she has all of the other women agreeing with her by the end of the discussion. 

I feel the same way about most sports talk shows too, so I’m not being sexist. I just get bored with a lot of rhetoric being bantered about. Seriously, why would I care what Terry Bradshaw thinks about who might win? There’s no way to accurately predict the outcome of a sporting event. Educated guesses? Sure, but it is pure speculation.

I think I’ll start a podcast about Roller Derby. I’ll prognosticate regarding the predetermined victors. I’m sure it will be riveting enough to keep my audience coming back for more.

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3 thoughts on “You’re not tall enough!!!

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