Congress of Idiots!!

I wish I could sneak into the Capitol Building and mess with just one of the steps. That way, the first congressman would trip, then they would all trip behind him. You know, like clowns.

It would be cool to be a congressional delegate. I would get $175,000 per year, show up for work when I wanted, ignore the opinions of the people and vote for bills when I get money from lobbyists. I would love that because I don’t make nearly that much money and, knowing what I know, (I’m a moron), I would fit right in!

I think I would introduce crazy bills like protecting the San Juan bullfrog, as an endangered species. A study would instantly be funded with millions of dollars in taxpayers money, of which I would receive a generous campaign contribution in the form of discretionary funds, all the while knowing that there is no such thing as the San Juan bullfrog.

It would be great to introduce all sorts of crazy bills like that. I could introduce a bill to eliminate the IRS altogether, although I love them like family, and make up the lost revenue by discontinuing all payments to other countries that don’t support freedom. That way, upon reelection year I could honestly say that I drafted a bill to protect endangered species, another to balance the budget and create jobs by the research done on the frog bill.

If I hear any of these blowhards talk about what the American people want again, I’m going to scream! They all say it, all the while knowing they are lying. They try to make it sound as if we are backing their rhetoric. This is simple: the American people want to go back to work! The American people want to keep their homes, their apartments, their mobile homes.

The American people want a balanced budget so we no longer have to borrow money from China. The American people want lower fuel prices. Most of all, the American people want you to really represent us, not your self centered desires where you’ll do anything to get reelected.

Vote out every single incumbent! All of ’em. If it does no good, do it again. Contrary to popular belief, congressional delegates do not get paid their salary for life, so they would need to get jobs where they have to show up every day and actually work. If we take that approach, eventually these knuckleheads will understand that they had better show up for work and really work for what the American people want.

I’m Jerry Mabbott, and I’d appreciate your vote.

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