The Thing Blew Up!!

A man was working on a dryer, when it exploded. As the blast was propelling him upward, he saw a man falling down. He yelled at the guy, “Hey! Do you know anything about gas dryers??” The guy said, “No! Do you know anything about parachutes??”


I’m a lot like those guys. Mr. Handyman, I’m not. I have friends who can fix anything. Garage openers, garbage disposals, engines, brakes, etc.  Their repair skills are seemingly endless.


I have other friends who can build things. One of my brothers can picture a design in his head, draw it and then create it with tools and his hands. Others can finish their basement. Heck, build the whole house. Somehow, a person can look at the beams in an unfinished basement and instantly figure it out. Not me.


I stare at the wooden maze and just hope I can find my way out. Its easy to figure out where the bathroom will be because of all of the plumbing. Outside of that, it would turn out to be the most hideous basement ever, and I’ve lived in a couple of bad ones. You do what you have to do to make it in the comedy business.


I wrote about the horrible BBQ disaster several days ago. Well my wife came home on Wednesday with a new barbecue in a box. I knew I had to build it myself. I had to conquer! So on Thursday afternoon, I headed out to the garage and began my mission.


The reason there is doubt is because, as anyone in my family can attest, I don’t put things together well. If its a bookshelf, not only will I have some of those round fastener thingies left over, but its also a given that there will be several parts either backwards or upside down.


So I had to tackle the beast. It took me several hours of staring at the schematic to try to identify each piece and organize them in the proper order. I got it figured out and finished it! I know! Its not that big of a deal and it took me four times longer than it should have, as my running friends would say, “At least you finished!”


I connected the tank, turned the valve and pressed the red ignitor button and, voila, it fired right up! I started looking around for an audience – anyone who could see the result of my handiwork. Just my dogs. They seemed to be happy, so I pretended that they were happy with my accomplishment.


And the best part? No left over parts! First time ever! Now I have to tackle something else. Hmmm… What will it be?

See you tomorrow.

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