My friend Val was going to be married. His fiancée’s father decided to talk to him. “So,” said the father, “you want to be my son-in-law”? Val said, “Not really, but if I want to marry your daughter I really don’t have a choice”. Really great first impression.
As a comedian, I love saying things that catch people off guard. Not to be rude, just funny. Like one time I was in an electronics store looking at computers. I guess I looked like I worked there because a man approached me and started asking me questions about a laptop. Instead of letting him know that I didn’t work there, I answered all of his questions with bogus answers. Finally he asked me if I knew what I was talking about and I said, “No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night”.
I thought it was funny. He didn’t. I quickly left the building, with a big smile on my face. I don’t care where you’re from, that was funny. Another time I was at a Walmart. The cashier had a frown on her face the entire time. I finally asked her if she was having a good day. She said yes so I told her that someone should tell her face. She cracked up and smiled.
I took my daughter, Sarah, her friend and my son, Eric to Knott’s Berry Farm, an amusement park in Southern California. My brothers and I used to go fishing and whoever caught the most fish earned the title of Canyon Man. It so happened that I won the title that year.
Sarah only had one request. “Daddy, please don’t embarrass me”. To me, that sounded like more of a challenge than a request. So I sang every crazy song I knew all the way to the park. Sarah’s friend was having fun, while Sarah was giving me the stink eye.
When we pulled up to the parking booth, the attendant said “$4 please”. I said, “I’m Canyon Man! I don’t pay to park! But I will give you $4 if you pretend you never saw me”. She just shook her head, muttered “gladly”, and off we went. I looked in the mirror and Sarah was hiding on the floor of the car. Again, I was the only one who thought it was funny.
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott