I’m So Confused!!

I wanted to wash my favorite shirt. Something happens to a man when he enters a laundry room. We become complete buffoons. “I hollered at my wife, “What setting do I use”? She asked, “What does the shirt say”? I said, “Just do it”.


I’m not sure what the clinical name for it is, but as men, most of us completely lose our minds when it comes to household chores. Anything outside and we’re good to go. Cars, boats, roofs, sprinklers… We’ll find a way to fix most anything.


Even some things in the house. A running toilet, leaky faucet, clogged pipes, cracks that need spackle and paint, but ask me what color a room should be? Forget about it. It’s the same with rearranging furniture. I have no idea what she’s trying to achieve and after 15 moves, it always winds up back in it’s original configuration. Ugh.


But, I don’t complain about things. I just do it. It’s much safer that way and it does earn you brownie points. Those points have a very short shelf life, so decide what you want quickly. Food and intimacy are the two that are very popular. 


Some things I just can’t handle a anymore. Yesterday I was preparing to return some satellite television equipment, which would require climbing a ladder to the roof to dismantle parts. I asked my wonderful neighbors if I could borrow their ladder.


When I told them, they both said “No, you’re not climbing on the roof. We have grandkids who can do it”. So much for my plan, but they were right on target this time. Doing things like that always seem to get me admitted to some hospital where they either have to rebuild or remove something.


So, a kind young man came over and got the parts for me. God bless him. Here’s the kicker. There was also a switch of some kind that needed to go in the box to send back. I couldn’t find one anywhere. I called Dish and explained the problem to the associate and that I am ill of health.


She freaked out and said “No, no, no! Forget the switch. If we had known the situation, we would have sent a tech out to take everything down and bring the equipment back”! I explained that I did tell them when I cancelled service and they offered no assistance, just a threat that if I didn’t return everything I would be charged $350. She was livid and was going to find out who cancelled my account and turn them in. Sweet!

Now, there’s a tree that needs a good trimming, so I think I’ll climb it today with a chain saw. Um, maybe not.

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