Wait A Minute, You Idiot!!

I just took a bite of a delicious looking pumpkin pop tart straight out of the toaster. My teeth all cracked and my tongue fell off.


Man, that hurt! I’m really not sure if my teeth cracked, but I definitely heard something like popcorn popping. I’m afraid to look. Getting a burn inside your mouth is always miserable, isn’t it?


Passionate kisses are out of the question, so in order to save the relationship you must tell your significant other what happened, no matter how ridiculous it might sound or how stupid it makes you feel. They will certainty laugh at you but will likely stick around. Oh, and they will tell EVERYONE so don’t ever expect to live it down. Ever.


I have a friend who wears dentures. I guess there is a partial plate that goes back just a little bit. He and his wife bought corn dogs. As soon as they got them, my friend bit into one. With no feeling in his teeth or on the plate in his mouth, it didn’t seem hot.


Did I say hot? Try molten. Suffice it to say that he ate from a straw for the next few days. Baked potatoes can get you. Pizza is another famous culprit. Cookies fresh from the oven, coffee or hot chocolate, jalapeno poppers and hot dogs are just a few more to watch out for.


I eat cold cereal, cold pizza and I wait until I no longer see steam coming from my baked potato. If I order a burger and fries, I always consume the burger first so the fries are cool enough to enjoy.


Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get to the ER, stat!

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