I’m Too Lazy!!

I finally realized that I needed to get in shape, so I made plans to join a gym and work out for one full year. The year I picked is 2036.


I’ll be 90 years old by that time and it’s much more impressive to see a 90 year old at the gym than someone who’s 60. At least I have a plan, which they say is the first big step in getting into shape.


Plus, by that time Heather and I will be married for 48 years and I’m sure she would want me out of the house for at least a little while each day. Getting into shape right now seems impossible because every time I try, I end up on the operating table.


For example, I tried to run a 5K. I trained properly over an eight week period, adding distance slowly. Finally, I could run five miles without a problem. But it was all on the treadmill because I’m not supposed to run or walk outside alone because of these seizures I have.


Throwing caution to the wind, I decided to run on the track at the local Junior High School during their football practice. That way, if I had a problem, there would be lots of people around. I ran for and a half miles. Piece of cake.


On the day of the 5K, Heather was kind enough to run with me. I finished the race and we went home. I was so happy, I began searching for 10K runs. I was thinking I would build up to run a half marathon in a year.


My knees were sore but I wasn’t worried because that was normal after running on pavement. The right knee healed properly, but not the left one. In fact it swelled up to about twice it’s normal size. I broker down and went to see an orthopedics specialist. Three surgeries later, I’m sporting an artificial knee.


No more running for me. I can walk, use the stationary bike and swim. Since I’m not allowed to walk alone and have no access to a pool, that leaves the bike. I can handle that, although it’s about as boring as watching “The View”.


So, my plan is in place. It’s likely I’ll croak while working out, but that will be cool. Everyone will be impressed that it happened while I was working out.

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