We had some friends over for dinner. I asked my wife, “Sweetie, will you please get us some water”? A short time later, I said, “Sweetheart, will you please bring us a beer”? My friend told me he was impressed that after 18 years, we still used loving terms. I said,”I gotta be honest with you. I can’t remember her name”!
Obviously, I’m kidding or I would be unable to type this. Heather is a wonderful wife but I think that even the very best might react violently if you forgot her name. There is no excuse, outside of complete amnesia that would work and even then it would be a hard sell.
You would have to also pretend that you don’t remember your children, grandchildren, siblings, parents, coworkers and friends. You would also have to forget who your favorite sports teams, movies and music.
I remember an episode of “The King of Queens” when each time Kevin James’ character forgot a name of someone he was talking to, he collapsed with a fake heart attack. Brilliant! The only problem with that is you have to go to the hospital in an ambulance, where they would find nothing wrong. Then you would really be in trouble.
I’m very bad with names. I think most people are. Some people have a system they use, but I can’t even remember that! So I use things like, Hey buddy, Hey guy, How are you, my friend, those sorts of tactics. Fortunately, they work great. I’ve yet to have anyone call me on it and ask me for their real name.
I think if I really did forget my wife’s name, and she called me on it, I would immediately go into the witness protection program. It would be the only way to survive. Even then, a woman’s tracking system, especially for family is eerily frightening. She would track me down eventually. Better to always remember her name.