Where’s My Breakfast???

Yesterday, I saw a sign in a car window that read, “For Sale By Owner”. I’m thinking, “Who else”?


Today didn’t start well. I ran out of Total so I had to eat 13 bowls of Shredded Wheat. That’s a lot of fiber! Yesterday I decided to have oatmeal, so I took out the round box with that old guy’s face on it and I thought, I wonder how long this guy’s been missing? 


He’s been on that box for a long time. They should just declare him dead and be done with it. They’re never going to find him. They thought they did once but it turned out to be Barbara Bush. BAM! I know! That was mean, but let’s face it. She doesn’t follow my blog.


Three guy on the box is a Quaker. I’m not really sure what the differences between them and the Amish are. I think maybe the Quakers can use a PlayStation now and then.


Here’s my problem with the Quakers. California is the earthquake capitol of the country. I used to live there and there were a lot of them, some small and some devastatingly large. I think all Quakers should live in California. It makes perfect sense to me. Otherwise, they should be known as The Twisters.


I wonder how many Amish people secretly long to use electricity. If I was smart, which I’ve never been told, I would move to Amish country, take on their look and open a candle shop. I’d make a lot of money, I think. Come to think of it, they probably make their own or use lanterns. That’s it! I’ll sell wax, wicks and lanterns with all of the accessories!


I’ll start growing the beard today!

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