Happy Birthday! You’re Old!

I’m not saying you’re old, I’m just saying that if you were a carton of milk, I’d sniff you before I put you in my coffee.


Today is my wonderful daughter, Sarah’s birthday. I’m very happy she’s having Birthday and will be treated like a queen today, it’s just that she’s 37 today and that means I’m 60!!


Since her brother is only 34, and her sister is only 29, I think I should be able to add them all together, divide the total by 3 and subtract that number from my age. I know, but it makes perfect sense to me. Let’s see, doing the math, that would be 100/3, which would make me only 33! Sweet!


Wait a minute. Did I say sweet? More like awkward. If I was only 33, I would be younger than two of my children. That would be weird. Also, it would mean that I would only have a birthday every three years from now on, just to keep the formula going.


I figure I have a good 20 years left so that would mean I’ll probably croak at about 43. That’s cool! Of course by that time the kids would be 57, 54 and 49. Imagine if you have more than 3 children, like 6. How would that turn out?


At 2 years apart, when the eldest hit 40, it would add up to 209, I think. Divide that by 6 and you would only be 35! This is a great system! Now 65 really is the new 35! You won’t be able to do things you could when you were 20, but still, it would make you feel better about your age.

Now I need to talk to someone who can make this happen. I feel younger already!

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