She’s Going to ‘Ring’ My Neck!!!

I haven’t spoken to my wife in a year and a half. I don’t like to interrupt her.

She’s been complaining because I lost my wedding ring – again. The first one was lost because I dropped 75 pounds and many times when I washed my hands, it would slip off and wind up in the garbage bin. I can’t remember how many times I had to dig through a trashcan to find my ring. I couldn’t get it sized, because it was a patterned ring.

Heather finally bought me a new one. I lost it. Less expensive this time. Who could blame her? I certainly wasn’t going to remind her. We’ve looked at rings again, but no purchase. I think she’s trying to teach me a lesson, which is completely unnecessary because I know the result of losing my wedding ring.

When my third wife gave me my ring, she had it custom made it was beautiful. It was 14K band that was channel set with a half karat diamond. Gorgeous ring. We were on our honeymoon and we were snorkeling. When we got out of the water, she asked, “where’s your ring”???!!!

Exactly like this one except it was yellow gold.

Uh oh. It was at the bottom of the sea. Yikes! I know! She spent a lot of money on it and I lost it in two days! I’ll bet that’s a world record that you don’t want to hold.

So, I’ve lost three wedding rings and counting. I’m not sure the streak has ended. I hope so or I’ll be the major focus on “Dateline”. I’ll be the dead guy. Maybe I should get one of those tattoos of a wedding ring. That might be the right thing to do! Brilliant!

I’ll let you know how it goes.

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