I think that if you change your Facebook relationship status more than three times, it should automatically default to “unstable”.
Hey, who am I to talk, I’ve had four wives. I know! It blows my mind too. I was out of control, whacked out. I plead not guilty due to insanity. At least this time I’m married for good. Its been 18 years now and it’s better than ever.
I needed to be tamed. Broken, just like a wild horse. I was determined to remain single for the rest of my days, and I was serious. Then I met Heather. I was living in Monterey, California and came to Utah to headline at a comedy club. Heather and I hit it off as friends immediately.
I moved to Utah that same year, in November! Beautiful Monterey to a shady part of Ogden? What was I thinking? I’ll explain. The owner of the club here was and is still one of my best friends. After working at his comedy club, he called me and wanted me to move out here and use his club as a base and hit the road doing comedy gigs.
So, I did. I arrived just prior to Thanksgiving. There was snow everywhere and it was freezing! I kept asking myself if I was insane. I must have been since I was asking myself questions. My family thought I was nuts.
Heather agreed to go on a date with me that December. Just dinner and a movie. While having dinner, the waitress came and very briefly sat down with us. Keep in mind that I am 18 years older than Heather, so it was already a little awkward but we were having a great time.
Then the waitress dropped the bomb. She asked us if this was a Daddy-Daughter dinner. Game over. It was awkward before so imagine what it was like now. We left and didn’t go on another date for a year.
By that time, I had moved to Idaho, bought a comedy club and got a morning radio gig. Heather and I had decided to be friends only. She used to drive up to see me most weekends, just to hang out. We had a blast together every time.
Then one night I had come down to work my buddy’s club. Heather had asked me to go line dancing with her after the show. I said yes, but after the show we went to a nearby watering hole, where I was surrounded by women. I didn’t go with her, but another guy did. I didn’t sleep all night and I knew I was in love.
We married in 1998 and although we had some pretty tough times, here we are and it gets better every day. I still don’t know what her parents were thinking. I was 42 and she was 24. They never objected. It seems crazy, but it has worked out wonderfully.