Avoiding a Marathon!!

If you find yourself tempted to run a marathon, loosen up first. Its very important. Quickly throw back four fingers of whisky. If the urge to run persists, double the loosening exercise.

Last Saturday Heather ran a half marathon. She’s run many before, so I didn’t worry. But in this case, the weather was horrible. Hard, cold rain and very strong winds. It turns out that more people dropped out of the race than finished.

The experienced runners all agreed that it was the worst weather they had ever faced on a run. I wasn’t surprised at all that Heather finished. She’s just not a quitter. Ever. She ran more than 3,000 miles in tremendous pain prior to getting an artificial hip. She’s still running. Amazing.

I don’t understand the need to run unless I’m running from a fire or an ex-wife. Those would do it. Each could be deadly. We all know what happens with fire, but one of my exes would probably packing heat.

In any event, Heather finished a very gruelling race and I know she would do it all over again. Why? Because like other runners, she’s insane. I would never run even under perfect conditions. Running just can’t be good for you. The jolting on your bones, muscles and ligaments has got to be really rough.

There’s a book who’s title is, “I run, therefore I am nuts. No argument here.

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