I Want a Divorce!!

An expectant mother and her husband were at a birthing class. The instructor told the couples how important exercise is for pregnant women. She also said that the men could benefit by walking with her. A man asked the instructor, “Is it OK if she carries my golf clubs while we walk?”

We all know that exercise is good for you. We all seem to gravitate toward the type of exercise we enjoy. Heather loves to run. She’s done it for years. I thought I would try to run. Three surgeries on my left knee later, including a knee replacement, I’m finished with running.

I used to love to play tennis. I played it all of the time. I even taught Heather how to play and as she got better, I couldn’t beat her. I didn’t care, I just love to play. Now, due to the knee replacement, I am unable to play. Its better than the pain I used to feel all of the time.

I can ride a stationary bike which we keep upstairs, but that is about as exciting as watching bread rise. So I’m having a green screen installed behind me with a monitor in front of me so I can bike wherever I choose. How cool its that?
I can take short walks but no golf. That’s OK too because I get really bored in the course and start getting in trouble because I start playing like Adam Sandler in “Happy Gilmore.” I’m not kidding. On the tee, I would run up and smash a long, straight drive down the fairway. It’s the only way I could do it.


Even if I could golf, there is no way I could ever get Heather to carry my clubs. Ever.

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