Taking responsibility for my own actions is ridiculous when there are others to blame! What am I, nuts? If I take responsibility then I have to do the work. I have no time for that! I’m told it is very liberating, especially considering that we all make mistakes, so most of the time it’s ok.
There are some who live their entire lives blaming negative behaviors on their parents, siblings, grandparents, etc. Most of us could do that and get away with it because there are those who will always sympathize with us.
It’s rare to find people who had ideal childhoods. I only know one. This guy says he had absolutely no complaints at all about any part of his childhood, and I believe it. He’s amazed when he hears about people who have had troubling pasts.
Here’s the truth. If you’re an adult, you now get to make your own decisions. You no longer are controlled by the people who caused you harm in the past. You may need a therapist to help you empower yourself, but it is very important to do something. There are few things more sad than to see someone who feels trapped in the situation from the past.
I actually thought that for years. Why? My little league coach said I had the talent to go a long way as a ball player. Was it up to my father to force me to continue to play? Of course not! Did I blame him? Of course I did! That’s how these things work.
The truth is, if I had worked out, lost weight and practiced discipline, I may have done alright, but I didn’t. I found excuses to bypass all of the things I needed to do.
When I did play in the Joe Dimaggio league in my teens, I was fat and no longer had the skills necessary to be a good catcher. Plus, I couldn’t hit which is sort of a fundamentals that scouts have a tendency to look for. Oh, and you have to be able to run too.
In retrospect, it was up to me to do the things necessary to develop the skills to become a good player. Who knows what might have happened had I taken responsibility for my own life.
I do that now, and it feels good. I’m writing today because I want to. I write books because I want to. I was a professional comedian for 30 years because I wanted to be one. I work with the discipline necessary to do well.
So, if you’re still trapping yourself in your past, seek help because at this point, you are your own captor.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to call my Mom and blame her for holding back from being a rock star.