I once paid two police officers $150 to have my boss arrested in front of 300 people and the company’s senior management. Turns out it really wasn’t a good idea. His response to me? “You better not even go to sleep”.
He and I were in the middle of a “gag war”, which is similar to a gang war except we didn’t didn’t get tattoos on our necks or carry automatic weapons. He started it, as I wrote about two days ago.
I decided I would always have the upper hand by consistently nailing him before he could get to me. so the next time we were in front of hundreds of people, I had learned a trick from a magician where you have a tray with a false bottom so it appears that there is nothing in it. However, the next time I opened it there was a bananna cream pie which ended up in his face.
Then I struck again with our last practical joke. He had just received his annual review and got a pretty decent raise. He reported directly to the president of the division. I saw him walk out of his office, leaving his review paperwork in his in basket.
He had to sign it and turn it in to personnel for it to take effect. So I grabbed a blank form and our secretary typed it so he was actually getting a pay cut! I could easily Forge the president’s signature because I had done it hundreds of times on graduation certificates.
I signed it and switched it out for the other one. Hilarious, right? I couldn’t have been more wrong. When he was back in his office, he noticed the form and read it. I was going to tell him “Gotcha”! Unfortunately I wasn’t paying attention and I saw him walk into the personnel director’s office with the paper in hand!
I called the personnel director’s office, but it was busy. Yikes! I kept calling until He finally answered. I told him it was a joke. He said “That’s not a very funny joke, my friend”. So the secretary and I were called into our boss’s office and he was very angry.
Then the personnel director opened the door and stuck his head in and told my boss it was his fault for starting the practical jokes in the first place. The boss excused us as the two men argued. We were home free! We actually got away with it!
About an hour later I got a call from the president. He wanted to talk to me immediately. Uh oh. I didn’t get away with it. I was sure I would get sacked (for my British friends). I walked into his office and he said, “Hey boy”, which was a term of endearment he used with me all of the time. “Everybody gets one chance. You just had yours. No more practical jokes”! I said “Yes sir”! Then he started laughing hard and told me how funny it was.
That was the end of the pranks, which is too bad because I had some great ones in the works.