Dude! Can You Help Me Out???

If you lend something to someone and you never see them again, consider it a wise investment. 

  
There are very good con artists in this world. We’ve all been burned at some point in our lives by someone who pretended to be your friend, only to get what they want. It might be money, which I think is probably the most common.

  
But tools are very popular items too. We’ve all lent one tool or more to someone who never returns it. You don’t really notice in until you need it. You might as well just go buy another one because the schmuck who “borrowed” it will never return your calls anyway.

  
NEVER lend someone your house. Ever. If they don’t give it back, what will you do? Where will you live?? Plus, what if they trash the place? You have to call the cops, go to court which might take months. Finally you prove it’s your home but the jerk claims you rented it to him and he paid cash each month.

  
Now you’re really in a mess. You have to evict him, a process that could take months again. All the while you’re paying for the house or hotel you had to rent, or maybe even a homeless shelter because you definitely qualify, while paying your mortgage on a house you haven’t been able to live in.

  
I suppose you could resort to fisticuffs but that would land you in jail and then what? You end up losing your job and your house. What will your family do while you’re in the joint? Better to think things through.

  
If you must lend your house while vacationing, rig it to seem like it’s haunted. Motion sensors could trigger audio, including creaking floors, maniacal laughter and maybe a few lines from The”The Shining”, a smoke machine, and a hidden projector casting an image of a ghost on the smoke.

  
As a finishing touch, have a neighbor come over with a chain saw and the guy will run out of the house while soiling his pants. Or you could just install an alarm system and enjoy your vacation. Yeah, much better idea.

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