She’s Stuck!!!

When my daughter was little her grandparents came over to our new house. They asked her how she liked it. She said, “I love it! I have my own room, Eric has his own room, but Mommy is still stuck with Daddy”.

The truth is that to this very day, I sleep in my own room. Why? I snore like a banchi. I really don’t know if banchis snore but it just sounds like a good comparison.

Heather is a very light sleeper, so it just doesn’t work. We’ve tried everything. Ear plugs, breathe strips, a device that was supposed to realign my jaw, guaranteed to work or my money back. I tried it for a full week and when I got the money, I created my bedroom.

I really don’t mind. I sleep better knowing that I won’t wake her up. She has to get up and go to her job every morning so I need to be sensitive to her needs. If it wasn’t a good job, I wouldn’t really care, but she needs to be sharp.

On the other hand, my dance card is wide open until December. I get bored quite easily. I’ve worked really hard for 38 years. I’ve mostly had high stress jobs with comedy and at least one other stressful jobs on the side.

That kind of living, along with major negative events in my life caused me to begin to have seizures and very shaky hands. I couldn’t find a job anywhere. At least I could still do stand up comedy.

Then the seizures got worse. A lot worse. I was having up to 15 per day. All I could do was lay on the couch. I lost 75 pounds and thought I was going to die. I couldn’t even do comedy any more. I thought I could get a job at Home Depot mixing paint. I could do it without a machine. Our maybe the milk shake guy at McDonalds. No such luck.

It has taken a long time to adjust to the fact that I’m stuck at home with myself. I can no longer drive but I’m extremely blessed to have a senior companion to give me rides to places twice a week. I’m so grateful! No more begging for rides on Facebook for doctor appointments.

I’m also blessed that I have had some very high paying jobs in my life so my disability checks are nearly to the max. That gives me a measure of self confidence that really helps. 

There are so many others who have it much worse than I do, so I still feel blessed. Plus I get to write a blog every day, which I love!

5 thoughts on “She’s Stuck!!!

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