Oh, My Aching Lips!!

A cowboy got off of his horse and tethered it outside the saloon, walked back and kissed the horse right where the sun don’t shine. A man saw him do it and asked, “Stranger, why did you do that? Is it a good lip balm?” The cowboy said,”Nope, keeps me from licken’ em”.

  
My wife is addicted to chapstick. In fact, I’m discovering that many others share this horrible addiction. I’m shocked that there are that many people who are. It’s like crack for your lips! (Sorry 😳)

  
When my wife can’t find her chapstick, she starts going nuts! She places spare tubes around the house for emergencies. Yes, I just referred to running out of chapstick as an emergency. When she can’t find them anywhere, she starts to panic. 

  
Since I know there are many people who have the same problem, I’m going to go to our local convenience store and buy their entire supply. Not for Heather, but for all of the lip balm tweakers who are desperate for this stuff. I’ll be outside the store selling them for $25 a pop. 

  
This problem goes so far that Heather can’t even enjoy a TV show where someone has chapped lips. One of the lead characters in the new series, “The Catch” has chapped lips under her lipstick and it drives Heather nuts! She starts playing solitaire on her phone because she just can’t stand it. 

  
The same goes for the series, “Motive”. The male detective on the show has the worst chapped lips I’ve seen since Tom Hanks in “Castaway”. So she can’t watch that one either, although I did notice that during the show he suddenly had lip balm of some sort. It had to have been because there was some heavy lifting done there. 

  
I should probably wrap it up for today. That chapstick isn’t going to buy itself. 

Get my comedy DVD! Contact me for details. 

  

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