Survivors Ready? Drop!!!

I think I might be able to make it on Survivor. I’ve had the proper training. I’ve survived three divorces and came through the ordeals relatively unscathed. I still drag my left leg a little but outside of that, nothing notable. 

I think the TV game show, “Survivor”has reached the threshold of endurance for it’s contestants. In last night’s episode, there were three players all getting medical attention at the same time during a grueling challenge. One contestant had to be airlifted to the hospital, while the others recovered on scene. 

One of these days somone won’t be so lucky. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great and even necessary to have medical staff standing by. I’m just fearful that with these files being pushed to their limits and beyond, someone might not survive. Then what? Game over. Or would it be?

I don’t think it would deter contestants with a chance to win a million dollars. I’m pretty sure the production company would have to tame down its game play and the conditions under which they are played. It’s it really worth risking your life for a million bucks? Not for me. 

I wouldn’t be able to do it in the first place. I would be have way through the first challenge and be crying like a little boy to go home. Somebody would be like, “But you have the idol!” And I would be like, “Ok, who wants to trade it for their lunch? I have the stamina of a snowman in the desert. 

The cold and rain would be enough to motivate me to leave. I would need no other inspiration. There is nothing worse to me than a miserable night where you’re at and very cold throughout the night. Been there, done that. I would pay someone two million just to get me off of the island. I’m no math wizard, but I think that would be a bad economic decision. 

Especially considering that I don’t have two million dollars so I would likely do some jail time. Even that would be preferable to being on the island. At least I would get three meals a day, dry clothes and a bed. Sure, I’d have to carry a shank with me at all times and trust no one,but you can’t trust anyone on the island either. 

As long as no one found out why I was in the joint, I would leave there with some decent street cred and a cool nickname. Nobody would mess with me or they would have to deal with Moon doggy. Forever. Plus I would end up with some pretty awesome tatts. Wait a minute. Those hurt, don’t they?

Ok, forget the whole thing. I just won’t submit an application for the show. Then I can just stay home, write and eat graham crackers. That’s what I’m doing right now. Kicking back in my comfortable recliner, writing and eating graham crackers. Nothing better. I’m not sure if I took my meds last night. That’s most likely where these crazy ideas came from. Ok, I’m going to bed. 


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