Customer Service is our Middle… Finger!

I walked up to receptionist in the hotel and said, “I’m sorry, but I forgot what room I’m in”. He said, “No problem Sir, this is called the lobby.”

If you have ever been to a business, as a customer, and heard the folks talk and laugh about the customer who just left, rest assured that you’re next. I don’t do business with establishments that allow this kind of service.


I don’t care what the place of business. I went to the DMV recently to renew my drivers license. After waiting a very long time, I finally got my turn. When I approached the clerk, I saw a sign outside of his window which read, “Don’t even start with me, you’ll lose. Really? True story.


That is the first impression this man chooses to give. He was extremely rude in our exchange, as well. This DMV was a fair distance from my home, because it was a Friday, and they were the only office open on Fridays.


I forgot my social security card, so I was going to have to come back to a DMV office when I got a copy, so they could process everything. The jerk clerk told me I had 30 days to get the problem taken care of, lie number one. Then he told me I could only come to that office to complete the transaction, lie number two.


I actually had 90 days and I would be able to complete the transaction at any DMV. What a creep! The interesting thing to me is that government employees work for the public. Our taxes pay their salary, but so many feel the need to exploit the power which they have been given. I wanted to throat punch the guy, but I’m not sure I would do well in jail.


Good customer service is so rare in this day and age. I heard about the legendary service offered by Nordstrom, and I decided to find out for myself. I went to several stores and found nothing out of the ordinary at any of them. I guess I just caught all of them on bad days.


I had also heard about the legendary customer service offered by the Ritz Carlton hotel chain. We were able to stay at one in Naples, Florida. We were there for four days. I decided I would see if they really offered great service, or if it was just legend too.I I completely ruined the vacation because I was always sneaking around, spying on the employees to see if it was true.


Supposedly, every employee is allowed up to $200 to satisfy a guest’s needs. Every employee, in any position, is supposed to make the guest happy. I put them to the test. I asked one of the grounds keepers, who was mowing the grass, if I could get a diet coke. His reply? “Certainly”. He took off, and came back with my diet coke, with a smile on his face. Really? The grounds keeper is considered about my satisfaction? Are you kidding me? I gave him my thanks and he replied, “My pleasure”.


I wasn’t satisfied with the one example, so I decided to spy at a coffee kiosk near the lobby at 5 am and there was no one around to watch this barista work her magic. She was waiting on a demanding customer, but kept a genuine smile on her face while serving him. I had to hide in a flower bed to watch her work, which seems a little more than creepy now. I asked the young lady why she was so nice to the customer, when there was no one watching. Her response? “I love my job”. What?!?


I witnessed the World Class customer service at every turn. The last morning we were there, we were having breakfast outside. There was a couple sitting at the table next to us, preparing to head out. The young man asked the waiter if they might get two coffees to go. “Certainly” was the waiter’s response. Now, I knew that he had to go get the coffee near the lobby and it was a long walk.


When he returned, and took care of the other couple, he asked if there was anything else he could do for us. This would be the ultimate test. “Yes, there is. Would it be possible to get a couple of coffees to go?” His response? “Certainly”, and off he went. I was amazed but completely unprepared for what happened next. He returned with the coffee, then said, “Mrs. Mabbott, I noticed how much cream you take in your coffee, so I took the liberty in preparing it the way you like it.” Are you kidding me? He even made sure he knew our names!


Customer Service is a choice. You either choose to provide great service, or you don’t. I saw it first hand. It can be done. So please, if you are doing business with the public, choose to provide them with world class customer service. It takes such little effort.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, that jerk’s throat isn’t going to punch itself.
I’ll see you tomorrow.
Check out my books at Also, get your copy of my command stand up comedy DVD. 

Send me an email if you are interested in the DVD. Limited quantities.

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott

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4 thoughts on “Customer Service is our Middle… Finger!

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