I Hate Flies!!

I just can’t stand flies. I am relentless until I kill every single one in the house. One day last year, Heather saw me in action and asked me if I got any. I said, “Yep. I got three males and two females.” She asked me how I knew what sex they were. I  said, “Easy. Three were on a beer can and two were on the cell phone”.

I know I can’t be the only one who can’t stand flies. They just drive me crazy. Not only are they filthy and distracting, if you put them under a microscope they look exactly like Jeff Goldblum. I wouldn’t want a bunch of clones of that guy running around my house either. 

I thought I should learn more about these insects before I really blast them just to see if they serve a good purpose to mankind. Apparently they come from a species known as Diptera. Di meaning two and ptera meaning wings. I hate the fact that I looked that up. What a waste of time. 

I’ve heard that the common house fly lives only three days. Not true. They live approximately 28 days! There is a parallel that I frankly am simply to afraid to explore. It could really make my life miserable. 

Did you know that some maggots that evolve into flies are actually bred commercially? I know! They are used as fish bait. Gross. As we’ve learned on CSI, the maggots are often key factors in helping to determine time of death and even where someone was killed because certain species are indigenous to certain regions. 

Ok, I’ve already sickened myself by writing too much about flies. I need to learn more about killing them. They serve no good purpose in our homes and like a college age teen who didn’t go to college and instead just decided to sponge off of his parents, they have to go. Unlike the kid, the fly is far too good at hiding and if you try to open the door to let one out, not only will it fail, three or four of it’s friends will come in too. 

I think pest control guys are like hit men for insects. Want to get rid of termites, spiders and other vermin? Call one of the insect mob services. For a price, they’ll take care of your “problem”. It won’t work with flies. We have to come up with some rudimentary system for doing away with them. 


There are the very gross fly traps which hang from the ceiling in the house and is basically just really sticky on each side so flies and other unsuspecting vermin become permanently attached to the strip which can be simply thrown away.   
The problem is you need to leave it up to catch as many intruders as possible, which automatically makes it too gross for me. My wife likes to try to nail them with the crack of a thin old towel. She considers herself a great shot. I prefer to spray them with windex while they’re still. 

My brother in law user to have the best stuff. It was a metered aerosol can and would kill any fly instantly on contact. That stuff was good. The trouble is that he departed this world before I asked him the name of it and where he got it. I’m still in search and will update you if I find out what it is. 


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