You own your dog. Your cat owns you.
I went out to the mailbox to see if a piece of important mail had arrived. Skunked again! Some of you will get the reference. Anyway, I was walking back to the house when I noticed a dark silhouette of a person to my right. Mistake one, I said hello.
She asked me if I could help find her cat. Mistake two, I said I would. She was holding a cane , but not using it. She also wasn’t looking for the cat. My mind suddenly flashed back to all of the “Criminal Minds” episodes that begin just like this, then the Good Samaritan is knocked unconscious by the presumably innocent person in distress.
Inside our house, Heather was wondering why I had been gone for such a long time. It should have taken me maybe a minute to complete the task. It had been fifteen minutes and would be longer and in 25 degree temperatures.
I tried to tell the woman that I was having my knee replaced in a couple weeks, so I wouldn’t be able to run. She shrugged it off and said she was going to have back surgery soon. Ok, but could she help find her own freaking cat??
Mistake three, I found the cat and picked it up. I went to hand the cat to her at the same time a transit bus came around the corner. She freaked out and started yelling, “That’s my bus. That’s my bus”!! What??
Heather is now thinking of calling the police. Where could he be?? Mistake five. I found a brown house on the corner. There was no porch light on so I was trying to hold on to the cat, who was now that really freaking out and gouging any exposed flesh, and fumbling with the keys. Suddenly a guy opens the door and in a very threatening tone. I guess it was appropriate considering I was trying to break into his house – with a cat.
She still hasn’t come for her keys.
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