You Stole What???

One of my friends sent a text to his neighbor apologizing for “using” his wife when he was away. He said, “I know it’s wrong, but I don’t get it at home. Please accept my apology.” The guy was furious, cursed out and told his wife he wanted a divorce, then sped away in his car. My friend sent a second text and wrote “Stupid autocorrect. It should have said wifi.

  
Can you imagine? That marriage was probably irreparably damaged due to a misspelling on a text. We should talk more face-to-face. There would have been a divorce if he would have just talked to the guy in person. Sure, the guy might have been mad for a short while, but he would have gotten over it. 

  
People send the weirdest things in text messages. It has somehow become acceptable to break up with someone on a text. I guess it’s a case of plausible deniability in case the person changes their mind. “What? You thought that was for real??? It was only a joke”! You can’t really pull that one off in person.

  
Text arguments are very common. Its usually not possible to determine the tone of someone’s message, so it may come across as terse when it was actually quite innocent. Next thing you know, you’re fight texting and probably won’t even speak for months. 

  
I think if you get into a text argument with with someone to the point where you decide never to text again, you should consider your text selves to be alter egos and in person don’t give it a second thought. Unless it’s a death threat. Then I would stay away from the other party. 

  
I know from experience how dangerous these messages can be. I once texted a girl that I liked “You’re really fat.” It was supposed to be “fun”. I never heard from her again. 

  
A couple of nights ago my wife had just completed a run on our treadmill and was sitting in our living room. I was in the same room, sitting in my recliner. I FaceTimed her. She thinks I’m nuts and she is absolutely right. I’m a loon. A nut. Totally whacked out. That’s what makes it work for us. Well, we’ll see.

  
For all of my friends who have expressed a desire to see me perform live, My new Stand Up Comedy DVD is now available! Get yours today! Just use your PayPal account to jerry.mabbott@gmail.com or send a check to me at 744 W 4400 S, Riverdale, UT 84405 for only $27, including shipping! 

And 20% of all sales goes to help cancer victims. I just made a donation, the first of many. It’s a very funny and clean DVD and was shot during my very last headlining gig. Plus bonus – gluten free! 

Web: jerrymabbott.com

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott 

Twitter: @jmabbott

Email: jerry.mabbott@gmail.com

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