You Can’t Make Me Go!!

One day, Joanne went in to wake up Jimmy to get ready for school. Jimmy said he wasn’t going today. She said, “Give me two reasons why you shouldn’t go to school”. He said, “The kids all hate me and so do the teachers”. Joanne said, “Those are not good reasons to stay home from school”. He asked her to give him two reasons he should go to school. She said, “You’re 52 and the PRINCIPAL”!

I don’t know what it is about angry wives, but I do know that they scare me. Its crazy. I weigh about 220 pounds and if I were challenged by a guy who weighed 130 pounds and felt I had no choice, I wouldn’t even hesitate to fight him.

Yet when my little wife challenges me, I back down instantly. There are several reasons for this, I think. For one, you don’t hit a woman. That’s a given. Number two is simple too. She could divorce you and take most everything I own. Number three, I love and respect her which is just one way to disguise the fact that I am a wuss. 

I’ve never looked for fights. I’m a Christian man so I really will turn the other cheek. But if they hit the other one, my love for mankind and meekness is long gone and I become more like Ralphy beating up Scott Farcus in “A Christmas Story”. Completely out of control. 

Women have a way of just looking at you and sending fear down your now nonexistent spine much like getting the Bruce Willis stare. It’s chilling. It doesn’t matter what the situation, I instantly say I’m sorry. 

I have two brothers who love to argue, so they normally won’t back down. One will eventually but the other is like a pit bull in a fight. I’ve seen him “Agree to disagree” if his opponent makes enough good points and doesn’t give up, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him actually cave. It just isn’t in him.

Still, my wife will claim legitimate victory long before any of my opponents. It’s like she just took a debate class yesterday or went to the shooting range this morning. She has no fear. I’m cooked, baked, basted, done. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love her and I would do anything for her. Its just that with some of those things, I have no choice. 

See you tomorrow. 

Connect with me on:

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott 

Twitter: @jmabbott


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