Its So Cold!!!

Its so cold here that we have to stop using our silverware. My wife still has a fork stuck to her tongue.
Seriously, where do we live, in the Antarctic? I have to wear a NASA space suit just to take out the trash. And its not just the cold. We’ve had a wind storm along with it, so even if its 14 degrees outside, it feels like 0 with the wind chill factor. Its stinkin’ cold out there.
Our two toy schnauzers go out to do their business and are back at the door in a heartbeat. I watch them closely so I can let them in the moment they are ready to come back in. The biggest one weighs in at only about ten or eleven pounds and the other about 7, so they wouldn’t last very long out in cold like this.

I think the real question is why do I live here?? Well, this is where my wife grew up, her family is here and we’re just not ready to move yet. I feel like one of those people who lose their home to some frequent natural disaster. When reporters ask them what they’re going to do, they say, “We’re going to rebuild!” Really? Its not like the twisters are going away. They’ll hit again and the answer will be the same each time. Why not move out of tornado land? That way, you won’t have to rebuild your house and lose all of your possessions ever couple of years.

Its the same with me and the cold. Why do I choose to live in Utah, where it gets so cold? We are not even part of the predominant religion here, so what’s the point? I guess its mostly due to the friends and extended family we have here. My wife, Heather, only really talks to her sister, Stef and her son. Its a whole thing and I won’t air my dirty laundry in public.

I will tell you this. One day, we’ll move to Georgia, where my daughter, Sarah and her family live. My son and his family currently reside in Mississippi, but will move back to Georgia within a few years, I think. We have seven grandkids (I know!), so it makes perfect sense to move there. It will happen and I hope it doesn’t take too long. I would really prefer not to freeze to death. I would much rather get taken out by some hurricane, no doubt named after my mother in law.

It seems that wherever you go, you face some sort of weather factor. In California, it’s floods and earthquakes, in the Pacific Northwest, it’s rain and lots of it. In Idaho, Montana, Utah, the Dakotas, the north east and Colorado, it’s really cold in the winters. Nevada, New Mexico and Arizona are way too hot in the summer months. The mid west is tornado country, so where to live? Florida is constantly hit by hurricanes, so that’s out. It seems like Georgia is a good place. Sure, they have their share of tornado warnings, but my kids and other family members have lived there for a long time and they’ve never been hit.


Yes, I do realize how humid it can get there, but its only a couple of months out of the year, which I can stand, and the rest of the year it is wonderful. Trees everywhere, grandkids everywhere. Everything about it screams, “Come on in, boy, the water is fine!” So,down the road a little, we’ll no doubt take the trek to the South and be surrounded by family. We’ll miss our extended family here. There are so many. Stef and Braxton, Ken, Sarita and Alex, Dawn, Shaine and all of their kids, the whole Malan clan. All of them. They are wonderful people.

I don’t want to make it seem like we’re leaving anytime soon. Heather has a great job here and it doesn’t make sense to leave that for quite some time. Then again, we’re not spring chickens any longer and we want to see the grandkids grow up and spend as much time with them as possible. Not just the grandkids, but my children, as well.

So, right now we wait. And while we wait, we’re having a wonderful time with the extended family and Heather’s work family. But, right now its 8 degrees outside, with a wind chill that makes it feel like it is minus 6. Are we insane? The obvious answer is yes!

My new Stand Up Comedy DVD is now available! Get yours today! Just message me or reply and we’ll work out the details. It’s family friendly and gluten free! Just $27, including domestic shipping and 20% of every sale goes directly to The Huntsman Cancer Foundation!

If you would like a copy of my DVD, just use your PayPal account to or send a check to me at 744 W 4400 S, Riverdale, UT 84405.
See you tomorrow. 
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott 

Twitter: @jmabbott


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