I Win!!

Arguing with a woman is like reading the software license agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click “I agree.”
I’ve yet to win an argument with any woman. Ever. She doesn’t even have to be my wife and I’ll still lose. They’re tenacious and will never give up. Then, if it is your significant other she’ll remind you that she won when you least expect it to happen. It doesn’t even have to be the same topic. Checkmate. 

Heather is an artist in word duels. At some point in the disagreement she will just clam up and go with the silent treatment which would be ok, but she stays in the room. You’ll swear she’s a mime. Brilliant! Then I am left with the only good option. Stay in the room with her. Anything else would be considered an aggressive move and make things worse. 

The scary part is that I don’t believe these are learned behaviors. Their powers are instinctive which is just not fair. I’m not talking about cheating on her. I’ve never done that but if I ever did she would know the instant it happened. 

Men can’t lie to their wives unless it results in a wonderful surprise for her. Then you can both laugh and joke about how funny it all was. But even then I think she takes note of eye contact and other mannerisms and automatically catalogs them for future reference. 

 The only option is to give in, no matter the circumstance and admit defeat. Throw the white towel. You’re coocked like an extra hot chicken at Popeyes chicken. You’re done like a 3 minute egg. You’re cooked as a goose. Ok, no more nature metaphors. You get the idea. 

Just know that you will be her slave for  months to come. It won’t end until she’s had enough. Then you can grovel back into her good graces once more. 

See you tomorrow. 
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott 

Twitter: @jmabbott

Blog: jerrymabbott.com

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