Artificial Limbs!!

I’m so sad today. I just found out that my Christmas tree has an artificial limb. 

It always seems to be a big question each year. Should we buy a fresh tree? There are pros and cons for each one. If you watch “Christmas Vacation” you obviously see one of the cons. You’ll have ridiculous conversations with an idiot family member. Oh and it sort of blew up too. 


There seems to be a science to buying a live tree. This science has eluded me for decades. We go to Home Depot mostly because everyone tells us they have the best trees. However, each time we have bought one there it dies within a couple of weeks and I have to get a new tree. That is a pain in the lower region of my body because I only like to put lights on the tree once. 

Having to remove all of the decorations, pick out another one (praying that this one will at least live until New Years Day) hauling it home, cutting the base so it absorbs water, leveling it out on tree stand and then putting on the lights and redecorating. I always lose my religion when that happens. I’m never in a good mood during that time. The first time, I’m delightful. The second time, not so much. 

One of the things I love about a standard tree is the fresh pine smell the permeates from the tree. However that’s why God invented Scentcy. You can have a prelit artificial tree and still get the pine smell! It takes only moments to set it up and rearrange the tree limbs to cover the open spots. 

Perfection. No worries about it drying out, its perfectly shaped and and you don’t have to worry about the strings with the holding down the tree on the top of the car snapping and send the tree backwards like a rocket into the car behind us.

Nope, it’s securely wrapped up in a box out in my garage. During the day chosen I bring in the tree and put it together I do my best to fill in the holes, knowing full well that my wonderful OCD wife will come home and change everything. I’m much better than I used to be. Then we decorate which includes my putting up an ornament in a perfect place only to have Heather remind me it was a terrible placement. 

Oh well. There’s Christmas music playing and I love it. I don’t think I would love it so much if it were a real tree. 

See you tomorrow. 
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott 

Twitter: @jmabbott


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