A lady was looking through all of the turkeys at the grocery store but couldn’t find one large enough to suit her needs. She asked the clerk, “Excuse me, do these turkeys get any bigger?” The clerk said, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
So many years ago, as the pilgrims sat down to eat with the Native Americans for a feast, one of the Native Americans said, “We should play football today. Cowboys against the Indians.” To this very day, the Cowboys play football on Thanksgiving.
I remember a time when Heather’s entire family got together for Thanksgiving. Each year one of the Aunts would be in charge. This particular year, she decreed that there shall be no football at all. Seriously? No football? Who does that? Don’t they realize the Native Americans started the whole thing?
Fortunately, I brought a very small television that could fit on my lap with an earpiece to hear the commentary. The Dolphins were playing the Cowboys and Thanksgiving would not have been the same if I couldn’t watch the Cowboys slaughter the Dolphins.
When the Nazi organizer noticed I had an earpiece, she went nuts. “I specifically said no football!”, she yelled. Heather then said, Hey, it’s his Thanksgiving too and if he wants to watch football then that’s what he’ll do!” I was dumbfounded. How awesome was that?
All of the other guys decided that if I was going to watch they would too. One of the uncles found a tv and rolled it in the clubhouse. It was awesome. Some of us enjoyed the football games while others sat and talked. We all helped clean up and everyone except for that one aunt had a great time.