Best Halloween Costume Ever!!!

Tonight, I’m going to wear a t-shirt that has the word “Life” on it, and hand out lemons.

  

So many people love to dress up for Halloween. I’m not one of them. The only costumes I used to wear were the result of being in a play. Last year, my wife went to work dressed as Whoopie Goldberg when she was on Star Trek. She works at a credit union. I would think that financial institutions would shy away from costumes.

  

In fact, I think banks, credit unions, etc., should be closed for the holiday. The latest trend for these businesses is to disallow the wearing of hats, sunglasses and hoodies, but on Halloween, all bets are off. It makes no sense. I worry for the safety of the employees. Besides, let’s say that someone chooses a batman costume to commit a crime. That would forever scar the reputation of the dark knight. We can’t have that.

  

To me, the best part of Halloween is staying at home, having our customary chili, enjoying the kids costumes and giving them candy. She’ll also be watching “Scream” and “Poltergeist”. That’s about as scary as she can take. Not me. Most of today’s horror flicks would put me in the hospital.

  

As a responsible neighbor, I give each child a blood test to be sure its safe to give them the sugar filled treats. The test only stings a little, but makes me feel much better about giving out candy.

  

I think if you are an adult with diabetes, you should only give out sugarless candy. This is to protect yourself, when you eat a lot of the left over candy. Let’s face it, we all do it. I feel guilty if I sneak a piece of candy before the trick or treaters come, but once its over, anything goes.

  

My favorites are Snickers, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, Kit Kat and Peanut M&Ms. We have everything except the Peanut M&Ms. Instead, my wife bought Starburst, which she loves and I despise. I don’t know why I don’t like them, I just don’t. I recently chronicled that in a blog, so I won’t beat it into the ground. They’re kind of like one of the Kardashian girls. They look great but are sour and bitter inside. 

  

When I was a kid, the coolest candies were Big Hunk, Look and Chunky candy bars, Pixie Sticks, small liquid filled wax bottles, bubble gum cigarettes that appeared to have smoke coming out of them when you blew on them. Candy necklaces, all sorts of great treats which have mostly vanished today. If you can think of more, please note them in the comment section at the bottom of the blog.
We used to also get apples, oranges and pennies, a practice stopped because too many stupid kids were swallowing the pennies and choking. Of course we didn’t eat the fruit until our parents made us, and even then, they would have to find where we hid them.

  

In the end, it can be a fun holiday, so long as everyone is safe. So to all of you, Happy Halloween!

See you tomorrow.
My books: Amazon.com 

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott 

Twitter: @jmabbott 

Blog: jmabbott.blogspot.com

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