The Pilot Said What???

I used to fly a lot. On a United Airlines  flight with a “seasoned” flight crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached our cruising altitude. I will be turning down the cabin lights for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants”.
  
True story. We were all stunned until we heard the flight attendants crack up. That neutralized the tension and most of us were laughing our butts off (which is a very odd term). I thought you could only have fun on Southwest Airlines. 

  
For the most part I despise airline travel. It’s very chaotic, there are so many delays, my luggage was misplaced far too many times and I had encounters with many angry flight attendants. If you remember the scene from “Meet the Parents” where Ben Stiller loses it when a flight attendant told him he would have to check his luggage, I did that exact thing on a flight and was escorted off of the plane.  

  
I was a madman. I snapped. I had been on the road for weeks and I was very tired. My luggage had already been lost by this airline the last time I used them and I wasn’t going to let them do it to me again. Yes they took me to an interrogation room but when I explained my situation to them, they became very friendly. 

  
They brought a bunch of employees in the room and I put on a show for them. They laughed hard, gave me a free lunch and upgraded me to first class on the next flight. The situation turned out much better than it could have. People love to laugh. 

  
There are more examples. On a Southwest flight, the attendants were giving us the standard safety instructions. One of them said, “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will fall  from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face. If you’re traveling with a child, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one child, pick your favorite.”

  
Those flights are better because you’re laughing before you even take off. It just sets the stage for a palatable journey. Airline companies take heed. It is not illegal to try to make your travelers have a good time. The joke marshals will not take you down. I promise. 

See you tomorrow. 
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott 

Twitter: @jmabbott

Blog: jerrymabbott.com

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