I’m Not An Old Man!!

I have gout again. I don’t understand it. They say that it is an old man’s issue, but that’s impossible because I’m only… Oh crap!

  
If you’ve never had gout you should count your blessings. It is an extremely painful thing. It’s basically a kidney stone wedged in the ball of your foot. The last time I had it my foot swelled up enormously and I had to go to the ER. 

  
I can tell you that it hurts like a mother bear. I’m not really sure how badly a mother bear hurts or why she does but this hurts like the dickens. Again, I’m not sure where that term comes from but I can tell you it’s crazy. My foot is swollen pretty badly but I’m not going to see a doctor. 

  
All they did last time was give me a strong anti inflammatory medicine and some pain medication. Although I wouldn’t mind having more pain medication I can take ibuprofen for the swelling and use a crutch for a few days.

  

  
I’ve heard people say that the disease is caused by being old or leading a sedentary lifestyle. Both are not true. The truth is that you get it the exact same way as you get a kidney stone. Excess uric acid is the problem. A jagged mass forms mostly in the ball of the foot. The problem is that you can pass a kidney stone which is really painful but you have to let the gout stones dissipate on their own. 

  
A friend of mine had them so badly that he had to have them surgically removed. I will not do that EVER! I’ve had enough surgeries in my life that I’ll work through this until the swelling goes down and the pain subsides. 

  
It seems like each time I go to the doctor she examines me and decides something has got to come out. I don’t need that in my life. I think that if something has to come out it wasn’t working anymore anyway so why take it out? Just let it die and shrivel. Except the heart and lungs. You kind of like those to work well. 

So here is an illustration of how gout looks like and how to avoid them. Check to be certain you are not consuming foods or beverages that contain uric acid. Soda was my enemy. 

  
Meaning: A lot; as in ‘hurts like the dickens’. Origin: Nothing to do with Charles Dickens. Dickens is a euphemism for the word devil, possibly via devilkins. Shakespeare used it in ‘the Merry Wives of Windsor. 

All I can tell you is it is debilitating. Almost impossible to walk or sleep. Icing helps. I mean who doesn’t want some icing? It’s delicious!

See you tomorrow. 
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott 

Twitter: @jmabbott

Blog: jerrymabbott.com

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