Stop The Bleeding!!!

My wife always complains that I don’t shave as often as I should. She bought me one of those disposal razors with 85 blades on it, one that is guaranteed to slit your throat or your money back. I’m not kidding. Before the show on Friday night, I attempted to shave and cut myself so badly, I couldn’t stop the nick (sorry) from bleeding. It took an hour and a half to stop the bleeding. I think my wife is secretly trying to kill me.

  
Those razors are crazy. Do they really need that many blades? I tried the household remedies like applying deodorant which ended up my nose. I did learn something. If you have a runny nose, deodorant is a terrific way to make it stop.

  
Unfortunately it didn’t stop the bleeding. I nearly called the club to have Heather replace me when it finally stopped  and I was able to perform. I realize I’m a bleeder, but this too much. I’ve watched too many mob movies to have a barber give me a shave with a straight edge razor. I don’t know too much but I got mistaken for others way too much to take the chance.

  
Are styptic pencils still around? I remember seeing commercials where it didn’t matter if you cut yourself. The magic styptic pencil would immediately stop the bleeding. We even tried mouthwash which hurt like crazy but didn’t stop the bleeding. Direct pressure – nothing seemed to work.

  
Please, if you know of a remedy without growing a beard please leave a comment below. Thanks and have a great day.

See you tomorrow. 
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott 

Twitter: @jmabbott

Blog: jerrymabbott.com

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