Hurry! It’s About To Start!!

One day, my father came home from work, plopped on the couch and turned on the TV. He yelled at my mother, “Hurry up and get me a beer before it starts”! He downed the beer and said, “Get me another one! It’s gonna start soon!” She got him another one. He downed it again and said, “Hurry up and get me one more, it’s gonna start ANY minute!” She got him another and said, “All you ever do is come home from work, sit in front of the TV, bark orders at me and drink beer…” My father said, “It’s started!”


One of my favorite jokes, author unknown. It really summarizes some marriages, unfortunately. I’m sure you all pictured someone in your head, didn’t you?


There was really only one difference between that guy and my old man. The TV part. He only seemed to justify anyone watching any TV shows, except for his favorites. If it were baseball or football, that was a given. But there were also shows that he liked.


“Hee Haw”, with Buck Owens and Roy Clark was his favorite. When I was young, I would watch it with him and my mother. It was pretty funny – if you were a kid – so as I got older, I didn’t watch anymore. It probably hurt his feelings, but there are only so many jokes told by hicks popping out of a phony cornfield that I could stand.


He also liked “The FBI”, so we all did. Those and maybe a few others, like “All in the Family”, where I swear he thought the characters were real. He loved Archie Bunker and HATED Rob Reiner. Not just the character, the ACTOR. That was weird.


He also hated Bob Newhart. I know! Who could hate Bob Newhart?? One of the funniest guys – ever. Whether in a sitcom or doing stand up in his prime, he is one of the all time greats. I don’t why he hated the man. I’m sure they never met.


For some reason he was one of those guys who didn’t like to admit that he watched TV at all. There is some sort of stigma attached to watching TV, even today. I have friends who won’t admit it. I guess we are to assume that if they don’t watch TV, they must read more, rendering them superior.


Well, guess what? I watch TV.  I love TV if it were on 24 hours a day…. Wait, bad example. Let’s just say I watch it a lot. I see nothing wrong with that, and while others are bragging about not watching, I am naming off all of the shows that I/we watch. I do manage to read enough to satisfy me, and I really don’t care if people know I love to watch it.


Ironically, the only shows I don’t watch are comedy specials. I don’t enjoy watching stand up on tv, if I don’t know the person. It’s just not as special to me as with someone who is not a comedian. It’s probably the same with most professions. You don’t want to go and watch someone do what you do for a living. Especially if it’s gross, like cleaning sewers. I would never want to watch that.


See you tomorrow.

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott


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