I Got Stress!!!

Robert Di Nero uttered those words in “Analyze This”, at Billy Crystal’s character, a shrink. Billy, grasping at straws, said, “Well, you know what makes me feel better, is if I pick an object in the room and hit it, as many times as it takes for you to feel better”.

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So, Di Nero pulls out his gun and shoots the pillow on the chair as many times as he could

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Di Nero’s character was just doing what any mob boss would do, under similar circumstances. You can’t show fear or the hint of weakness, or its all over. There’s always somebody looking to take your place. Fortunately, that may never happen to me.

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Not that there weren’t people gunning for my job, they just weren’t allowed to “hit” me. Luckily for me, too, because I was one of those guys who handled professional interviews naturally. I never got nervous during those sessions. Because I was never afraid to face I bullet. Torture, that’s another thing altogether.

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When I was in mall retail customers would give me stress. Fortunately, there was an arcade next door to us and they had a game where you put a couple of quarters and within seconds, you were shooting rounds at the bad guy. much better almost instantly. But I prayed they had no link to the mob. I knew what was coming. They would work me over pretty good, then kick me into a cage somewhere to die. No! I can’t go out like this. I would somehow, heard a voice, saying, “So you say you’re a therapist?” I would mumble something that resembled the word, yes.

Next thing I know, I’d be in Di Nero’s office, talking to him about stressful things. On the way over, I would pass a pair of underwear. I don’t care what condition they were in, I could guarantee they would better than mine at the moment.

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Well, I guess I would have made a good impression on him because I would always with him wherever he needed me. He would screw up my wedding and honeymoon so there would a time when I would have to let her in on our little secret. I was working for the mob.

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She, of course would freak out and begin screaming, the worst possible reaction one can have with the mob they don’t want any extra attention. It’s bad for business.

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Fortunately, I woke up and it was just a bad dream. But I’ve had had a black limo following me lately, everywhere I go. Probably just a coincidence. Yeah, got to be.

See you tomorrow.

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott
Web: http://jerrymabbott.com

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