Bird Brain!!

Last week I found an injured robin in the backyard. I didn’t know what to do, so I called animal control. They told me to nurse the bird back to health, so I did that and the bird is fine now, but my nipples are killing me!

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I’ve used that joke before, but I couldn’t help myself. It was originally written by my good friend, Keith Stubbs, and he gave it to me. I think it’s hilarious. It’s the time of year here, where the birds are out, flying, stopping by to say hello (it’s my story, I’ll believe what I want :-).

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Our little toy schnauzer, all nine pounds of her, will immediately go in hot pursuit of any bird that dares to land on top of our six foot fence. But, she tries every time. I give her credit for persistence, and it’s also the reason we don’t have a bird as a pet. The poor thing wouldn’t stand a chance in the house.

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If I could, I would have lots of birds. Instead of the weird cat lady, I would be the weird bird guy. I would be like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. I would have at least one bird on each shoulder. Yes, I’m aware of what the back of my shirt would look like, but that’s why God created laundry detergent, right?

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Pet birds are not for everyone, just like most pets, except for fish. They just require a clean water tank, some places to hide and a few companions. Fish are very delicate, however. Some need a special diet, while others will eat some of the other fish. For those fish, I highly recommend sushi.

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My favorite bird is the humming bird. They hum because they can’t sing the words to the songs they hum. They’re just so much fun to watch. Darting here and there so fast. They say they flap their wings 60 times per second. I know!

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I wonder if I could fly if I could flap my arms 60 times per second. I know that seems impossible, but what if I drank 30 redbulls and 25 of those small energy drinks? I’m going to try it. I’ll let you know, most likely from the cardiac wing of a hospital. But, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? I’ll keep you posted.

See you tomorrow.

Connect with me on:
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott
Web: jerrymabbott.com

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