You’ve Got Twins!!!

While I was waiting for my third child, Cecilee to be born, there were four guys doing the same thing. The nurse announced to the first guy, up and says, “Congratulations, you got twins.”The guy said “That’s weird, I work for the Minnesota Twins.” The nurse came out again and told another guy, “Congratulations, you got triplets.”The guy said, “That’s weird, I worked on the “3 musketeers. The nurse came out again and said “Congratulations, you have quint upsets “The guy says, “Ironic, I work for the hotel “4 Seasons.” The last guy was freaking out. “They asked him what’s wrong and he said, “What’s wrong?” He said, “I work for 7up”!


There is nothing more beautiful than a new born baby, aside for the San Francisco Giants winning the world series. Just kidding, but they’re awfully close. I kid.


I love it when a child is brought into this world, as long as I don’t have to look at the gross stuff. When my eldest, Sarah was born, it was natural child birth all the way. Sarah weighed more than ten pounds, the size of a small turkey, or a very large roast. My wife, Kathy was tough as nails.


There was a woman we knew who taught Lamaz classes, and Kathy wanted to go. After a couple of sessions, she decided to show a video tape of her giving birth. It was disgusting. I was there to try to help with the breathing techniques, which didn’t work.


They told her to focus on something in the room. Anything.  Unfortunately, she chose me and that meant that throughout the 17 hours of labor, I was the one who was responsible for her pain.


I stood up by her head, so as not to see what was going on, and once Sarah came into the world, I went to see the most beautiful sight imaginable. I I cut the umbilicle cord and then they cleaned her up and wrapped her snuggly in a blanket.


I must point out that a couple of years later, the “doctor” went to the slammer because he was birthing babys without a license. Frouned upon, apparently, by the American Medical Association. So, when my son, Eric was born in a hospital. Still all natural, no drugs. He was also more than ten pounds. Yikes!


While I agree that women are tougher than men, if something happens to one of us that causes a lot of pain, we don’t do it again. With the exception of rodeo riders. They’re crazy.


But it’s almost like women forget what the pain of labor and giving birth feels like. If it were me, I’d have a c-section and be done with it. I realize that I would have to recover from surgery, but I’ve done that may times, so it would be easier.

I’m sure glad I never had to do it.

See you tomorrow.

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Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott


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