My cousin works for Delta airlines. An old lady boarded, holding a dog. My cousin said, “Excuse me, you have to check the dog like baggage.” Upon arrival, the dog was dead! My cousin sent someone to buy a dog that looked exactly the same. The lady said, “This isn’t my dog!” My cousin said, “Sure it is” The lady said, “No it isn’t! I was bringing my dog home to have him buried, and this dog is alive!”
Why is this time of year called “The Dog Days of Summer”? Seems pretty rude to me. With the exception of folks who prefer a dryer, warmer climate, most hate the heat of the summer months. Give me weather in the ’60’s and ’70’s, and I’m a happy camper.
So why do dogs get the blame? Well they don’t, really. According to Wikipedia, “The Romans referred to the dog days as diēs caniculārēs and associated the hot weather with the star Sirius. They considered Sirius to be the “Dog Star” because it is the brightest star in the constellation Canis Major (Large Dog)”
So, dogs are off the hook. That’s kind of a weird phrase too. What does off the hook mean? According to UrbanDictionary.com, “Off the hook is actually a modernization of a series of slang words. Closely related to off the chain, there refering to something being so “fresh” and “new” that its literally right off the store shelf. (started in reference to clothes, the hanger being the hook)”
Finally, we can stop blaming our best friends for the miserable heat. Everyone apologize to them and give them a cookie. Wait, that’s not healthy. Ok, a nice doggy treat. That’ll do the trick.
The hot days should be blamed on, oh I don’t know… How about the Sun?!?! The sun is just plain rude. It’s sort of like a person with no “space bubble”, or as it was called on “Seinfeld”, the close talker. Mr. Sun, WE NEED MORE SPACE! I know there are people who say it will mess with our ecosystem and blah, blah, blah. I don’t care, I’m hot!
Plus, if it only backed off for the summer – Bam! Goodbye global warming! So I think NASA, who has plenty of time, now that we’re not in the shuttle business anymore, should get to work on this brilliant idea post haste! Time is money. Let’s go! If it’s anything like our town doing road construction, if they started now, they could be finished by the year 3,000.
In any event, I’m happy to learn that our puppies are not to blame after all.
See you tomorrow.
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