A window salesman phoned a beekeeper. “Mr. Hayes,” said the sales rep. “I’m calling because our company replaced all the windows in your honey-house with our triple-glazed weather-tight windows over a year ago, and you still haven’t sent us a single payment. I know bekeepers haven’t much money, but we really need paid.” Mr. Hayes said, “But you said they’d pay for themselves in 12 months.”
Today is my birthday and someone said I was the bees knees. I wasn’t aware that bees had knees. They might have them, and I never noticed. Maybe that’s why they get mad so easily. Their knees hurt. It’s not like they can take ibuprofen to relieve the pain. Unless there are bee doctors, they’re pretty much stuck with it.
Maybe they really said that I was the bees sneeze. Although I’ve never heard a bee sneeze, I would imagine they would get a cold now and then. I mean it’s not like they can go to the pharmacy and get a flu shot. It might be poetic justice, however, because it would probably be hard to find a vein that would be big enough, so it would sting.
I also wonder if bees are racist. I wonder if they say, “stupid wasp” if one gets too close to the nest. Which leads me to my next question. Since there are so many hives in different neighborhoods, I wonder if there are bee gangs. They could have some pretty good names, like “The Stingers”, or perhaps “The stripers”.
They could wear little tiny bandanas on their heads to know which gang is which. Bee turf wars. Now that would be fun to watch.
There’s only one more issue I have with bees. I have friends who, under stressful conditions, get hives. I wonder why bees don’t take advantage of that and begin building on. I’ll never understand it.
See you tomorrow.
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