Wrap Rage!!

Who knew it was a thing? It is! I know I certainly had it this morning, trying to open a string cheese package. Seriously? Does it have to be so tough? Those things are harder to open than Bill Clinton’s mouth on the witness stand.

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According to Wikipedia, wrap rage, also called package rage, is the common name for heightened levels of anger and frustration resulting from the inability to open hard-to-open packaging, particularly some heat-sealed plastic blister packs and clamshells.

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People suffer thousands of injuries per year, such as cut fingers and sprained wrists, from tools used to open packages and from packaging itself, and in some cases damage the items they are trying to free from packaging. Easy-opening systems are available to improve package opening convenience. Really? How about string cheese? Where’s the tool for that?

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It’s gotten to the point where I just set the little package on fire and scorch my mouth with the mixture of burning plastic and cheese. I had always heard of Rap Rage, which is why those guys keep shooting each other, but wrap rage?

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I think we’ve all experienced the difficulty of trying to open a new cd with our bare hands. That will get you to wrap rage faster than a NASCAR driver.

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In contrast, a package of batteries will open so fast that they spill all over the place. You would think that batteries are more in demand than string cheese, but apparently, you’d be wrong. I’ve yet to see a toy or flashlight run on string cheese.

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Something must be done. Set aside gay marriage and Isis for just a little while and have our best engineers fix the string cheese packages. Because I definitely have wrap rage and I can’t be trusted. I might accidentally burn down the house with the combination of molten plastic and cheese.

See you tomorrow.

Connect with me on:
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott
Web: jerrymabbott.com

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