A woman had a heart attack. She saw God and asked if her time was up. God said, “No, you have another 43 years to live.” With her new lease on life, she decided to have a face-lift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. After healing, she was crossing the street and was hit by a bus. She asked God, “I thought you said I had another 40 years! Why didn’t you save me from that bus?” God replied, “Girl, I didn’t recognize you!”
I’ve been married a few times and had a lot of girlfriends. Yep, I can pick ’em. Aside from my current wife of 17 years, all of them wore make up. Some wore a lot of it. It always reminds me of the “King of Queens” episode when Doug tells Carrie, “When we’re going for a burger, I throw on some sweats and you look like you’re going to the Opera. Or, you’re in the Opera.”
Just the term, “I’m going to put my face on” is frightening to me. So, that’s not your real face? Yikes! The only thing Heather, my wife does is fix her hair. What you see is what you get, and I like that.
Don’t get me wrong, I know some beautiful ladies who wear make up, and there’s nothing wrong with that. They feel they need it, for some reason. For some, it’s probably habit. For others, it may cover blemishes that might embarrass them.
Some women, however, would look just as fine, or even better showing off their natural beauty. Just my opinion. Somehow I think women are convinced that their natural features are just not beautiful enough. Maybe it’s the bombardment of the “model look”. I don’t know.
Also, my wife doesn’t have a purse, so it makes shopping easier. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate shopping and I’m much more likely to have a seizure in a busy shopping environment. But, I don’t have to carry my wife’s purse while she’s shopping and sit on the bench of shame, like so many other guys
These men have the look of shame and defeat. They’re whipped and they know it. Turn in the man card, please. It’s over for you. I know women don’t think the same way. They think it’s chivalrous and from their perspective, I understand. What they don’t know is it’s not chivalrous. It’s embarrassing. Especially if it doesn’t match their man’s shoes.
A lot of men go shopping with their ladies because they’ve been bribed by a nice dinner or some sort of other treat. Guess what? I get the same thing without the horror of the purse holding. Sweet!
See you tomorrow.
Connect with me on:
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott
Web: jerrymabbott.com
Heather
