My grandmother asked me to help her with a jigsaw puzzle. I asked her what it was supposed to look like, and she said “A rooster.” I told her, “Grams, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to get these pieces to look like a rooster. Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box and you take a nap.”
I’m not sure what makes people want to put together jigsaw puzzles. Boredom maybe? It seems like elderly people love them. I’ve tried, but my eyes start to glaze over about two minutes in.
Some people like to spread some sort of transparent adhesive on them when they are finished and hang them on the wall like a painting. Grams used to do that, I think. I’ve seen them up in many homes of the elderly.
As someone who stays home 90% of the time, I think I might get it. It’s a project. Something to complete and get a sense of accomplishment and purpose. I also think that’s how hoarders get started. Let’s face it, there are only so many puzzles you can hang on the wall.
Once you run out of wall space, you have to start chucking them in a room. When that fills up, another room begins to fill, and so on. A&E should do a show for jigsaw intervention and hoarders. People would watch it. People will watch anything.
There’s “Storage Wars”, where you watch people bid on abandoned storage bins, then wait to see if the winner got more value than what they paid for the bin. Seriously? I feel like renting a storage bin and filling it full of Styrofoam peanuts, then abandoning it. The look on the buyer’s face would be priceless.
It is today’s hard core version of “Let’s Make a Deal”. Sometimes there’s something cool behind door number two or in the box that the guy is holding, or sometimes there’s not. I realize that the TV show already exists, but the contestants don’t curse and threaten to beat each other up.
I refuse to watch “The Price is Right” or “Let’s Make a Deal”. I believe, and am probably wrong, that once you give in and start watching those shows, your life is over. You’ve given up on life. Some might say the same thing about writing a silly blog and books, and they’d probably be right, as well.
See you tomorrow.
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