Most people don’t realize that Superman and Batman were bitter foes. In fact, Superman actually sprayed paint on a wall that read, “Batman is a wimp!” The next day, Batman wrote on the same wall, “Superman is Clark Kent.”
I’ve always wanted to be someone like Cark Kent or Bruce Wayne. I would take Bruce Wayne, if there was a choice between the two because, well, he’s a billionaire. Don’t get me wrong, the fortress of solitude is really cool, but it looks really cold in there and I could sit in solitude in the Wayne Manor library, beside a warm, crackling fire.
Bruce Wayne also has Alfred to cook and clean for him, iron his clothes, etc. Clark Kent didn’t have that. You’d think he would have shacked up with Lois Lane to at least help him out. After all, since he changed clothes in a phone booth (yuk), he must have lost a lot of suits and you can’t afford to lose that many on a reporter’s salary.
Batman also had Robin, his trusty sidekick. I want a trusty sidekick! If for no other reason, just to reassure me on how good of a super hero I was and to help me fight bad guys. Plus, if things went south on me, I could use Robin as the fall guy.
Batman also had that cool beacon in the sky. Superman had to rely on Jimmy Olson’s watch to send him a signal. Seriously? How lame is that? The beacon is cool.
Finally, Superman was an alien. I don’t think he even had a green card. He was in this country illegally, so we basically had a criminal battling criminals. Offsetting fouls, repeat the down.
Batman was legit. He was a citizen. I assume he had a social security number and paid his taxes. How did Superman get his job at the Daily Plant without a social security card? He would have had to either create a phony or steal someone’s identity. Another crime.
Yeah, I would definitely prefer to be Batman. At least he was honest.
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See you tomorrow! Jerry