I think if I were being mugged, instead of yelling “Help!”, I would yell, “Free Donuts!” because who doesn’t love a free donut?
I love donuts, but I’m kind of picky about them, too. I rarely have one because I would prefer to be buried in a coffin, not a piano case. So, I’m picky. My number one choice is a warm apple fritter. I know, there is controversy over whether or not the fritter should be in the donut “family”, but I really don’t care. I just want that war to end.
Secondly, it is just the plain old regular donut. Why? First of all, I’m a purest. I don’t even put condiments on hot dogs. Yes, sir, just give them to me plain. I think 7-11 makes the best hot dogs out there. The quarter pound big bite is awesome. You can also buy donuts there. And we’re back. Did you see what I did there?
The attraction to the plain donut goes all the way back to childhood. One of the first books I remember was a book about a kid named Homer, who created his own donut machine. They were plain and looked delicious. So when I eat one, it takes me back to that time.
Next would have to be the old fashioned glazed. I’m not sure why, except that they are delicious and not messy. I don’t like my hands to be sticky at all. Then, the chocolate donut with plain chocolate frosting. So good.
I don’t like Krispy Kreme donuts. They’re delicious, especially when they are warm, but leave my hands sticky. No thanks. I also never get one with sprinkles. I don’t like my donut crunchy. In any event, I’ve never met a single person who doesn’t like donuts, so if I’m being mugged, I think it would be the best way to get people running toward me.
Of course, you always run the risk of being mugged again by the angry mob when they realize that there really aren’t any free donuts, but I’ll take my chances. I suggest you do the same.
See you tomorrow.
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See you tomorrow! Jerry