Blooming Idiot!

A new business owner’s friend sent flowers for the opening, but the card read “Rest in Peace”. The angry owner called the florist, who said, “Sir, I’m really sorry, but don’t be angry, imagine this: Somewhere there’s a funeral and they have flowers with a note saying, “Congratulations on your new location.”

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I think I’m going to have Heather play my DVD at my memorial service. That way, everyone will be laughing. No speeches, unless they are funny. No crying. As people leave, they will receive an autographed rubber chicken and a signed copy of my DVD.

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I have had friends who have lost sons lately and that is completely different. No parent should ever have to bury their child. I just can’t imagine that. I certainly don’t want to reopen their wounds. It will be much easier to plan my own. I’m nearly 60, and I’m sick, so who knows?

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My good friend, Ron Ruhman wants me to play “Seasons in the sun” at his memorial service, which will certainly be a tear jerker. That’s going to be a tough one, but I promised him. What are you going to do?

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There is too much pain in the world already, without trying to add to it. I will have a flower on my lapel that will squirt water every ten seconds. That would be a great gag. Also, I want to wear Levis and a Miami Dolphins Jersey and tennis shoes. Everyone that knows me knows I hate wearing suits.

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I also want a big cake with a microphone and a stool on it. That would be fitting, right? In the end, I know most people, not all, will be saddened by my demise, but laughter is the best medicine, right?

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Therefore, laughter will be my theme. Keep ’em laughing right up to the end. And, if everyone has a copy of my DVD, I’ll always be a few button pushes at all times.

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I’m going to get started on my living will and be sure this is all in there.

See you tomorrow.

Connect with me on:
Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott
Web: jerrymabbott.com

See you tomorrow! Jerry

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